My friends and family in the US of A, did you feel that?
What, you ask?
The time change!
For a brief two weeks we were a mere 6 hours apart.
But alas, time has changed here last night in the European Union and we are back to seven hours apart again.
Well, I have the unfortunate news of my grandmother's passing. For the past couple months she has been in an assisted living place where she has been suffering from cancer. When I would talk to my parents on video chat over these past two months, they would inform me with great news: she had a great day today and was laughing and chatting! Or with bad news: we don't know how long she can hold on.
It was this tug of war for what seemed like forever, but right before St. Patrick's day my parents informed me that she was more and more sick and they had mutually decided to let her pass. Two days before St. Patrick's, I talked to my dad on video chat and planned my trip to come home. We bought tickets from San Sebastian to Madrid and Madrid to Chicago, then the reverse for the way home. Fortunately I had a 5 day weekend that weekend because here in San Sebastian it's basically Father's Day on Thursday, so we had no school then or on Friday. That week before I left was hard, because it was difficult to contact my family since they were often out of the house visiting Nana. When I got on my plane to the US that Thursday (two days after St. Pattys) morning, I honestly was uninformed whether or not she was alive or not.
When I arrived home to big hugs from my parents at O'Hare, they sadly told me that Nana had passed that morning, about a few hours into my flight. It was sad, but it was so unreal because I have not seen my grandmother since before I left for my trip, to show her and my grandpa the video camera I had gotten using the Christmas giftcards they gave me. And at that stage, she was completely fine. All of this information about her being sick was all told to me, and I hadn't contacted her via video chat or anything. When my parents told me, my dad told me it was good that she was gone before I arrived, because he wouldn't have wanted me to remember her as the bed-ridden hospitalized Nana that she was, but instead as the happy, healthy Nana I saw back in January. I agree. It was just...strange to be told that someone you haven't seen in two months was now gone, forever.
Basically when I arrived home the whole weekend we were busy going to Grandpa's to visit him with my mom's side of the family, and making plans for the funeral service and visitation. It was very busy indeed, and of course just a very sad time in general. The first time I broke down when I was home when I finally saw my Grandpa, who you could just tell was stressed from making phone calls non stop about the saddest event in his life, the passing of his wife of 62 years. We decided to compile some pictures for a board to put at the visitation and funeral, as well as the lunch at Hackney's afterward. That was fun to look at all the family pictures from way back. I wish I had some pictures here of Nana back in the day, when she looked like a gorgeous 40's pinup! I do have some great family pictures of me and my cousins, though:
I especially like my brother's Dick Tracy shirt in the first one.
We also decided to write a eulogy amongst the grandchildren (me and my brother, my cousins Nicki and Pat, and Olivia). We all gathered in a room at my Grandpa's apartment, discussing our favorite memories of her and us. As my cousin Nicki put it so well: "Do you guys realize how proud she was? She was such a proud woman. Any time we met her friends, they always knew of us. We were her pride and joy. She loved us SO much."
When Pat read the eulogy he wrote, compiling all of our memories, it was wonderful. My favorite parts he touched on were:
"Nana always referred to Eric and me as her little terrors...but of course, Nicki, Olivia and Melissa were her little angels."
"She and Grandpa had nicknames for us all, like Melissa: Miss Madam, and Eric: Beeler."
"We grandkids always remembered arguing over who had the most pictures on her and Grandpa's mantle, which constantly changed until Nicki's wedding photos blew us all out of the water."
Again, I was mostly fine at the funeral, and when I broke down, my brother jokingly commented in a serious tone: "hey, get a hold of yourself, this is a funeral!", always turning the situation into a comforting one.
We went to Hackney's for lunch afterward, where we saw Dorothy, my grandparents' friend and piano player from Hackney's. While talking with the elderly woman, I teared up as she solemnly noted that it has to be so hard for Grandpa, who has lost his "buddy" of 62 years, his friend he was with for nearly every moment of his life. At that point, I realized I was crying not just for my Nana, but for my Grandpa, since I was almost more sad for him that he doesn't have anyone he can talk to like that anymore.
But, it was still nice to be home for it all, to get and give big hugs to the ones I love, and to console everyone in such a sad time. Getting together with my cousins is always a fun time, especially listening to my brother and cousin Pat joke around, which always has me laughing. It's what my grandmother would have wanted: to see her family enjoying one anothers' company and having a good time.
The travel home was interesting itself, since I had a chance to get some things that they don't sell or are rare here in Spain, like Ranch Dressing, BBQ sauce, Peanut Butter, cookie mix, Cosmo magazine (in english) and A1 Steak Sauce. Most of those things were for my friends, for which they reimbursed me when I got back to Spain.
And for disease control, the customs have to ask you about whether or not you were on a farm, or are bringing fresh food into the country. In addition to the form you fill out upon entering the USA, you also are randomly questioned before you exit the baggage claim, where it is asked in such a way where the guy just seems to be either very hungry or weird:
(To man in front of me) Security guy: Do you have a sandwich? No? Ok, thank you.
(To me) Security Guy: Were you on a farm? No? Ok, thank you.
And even though I was in O'Hare, I found myself saying "Perdon" in Spanish when I would bump into people. That wore off once I was back in the suburbs.
When I got back to San Sebastian, I literally hopped on a bus back to my host family's house, got my backpack together, ate breakfast, and got on a bus to go to class. I told my teachers about the situation, and I knew I'd miss my first class. My second class, Basque Language, I was late to by about 30 minutes (it's a 70 min class) and people looked at me all laughing-like, thinking I got there that late b/c I slept in or something. I was definitely NOT in the mood for those people at that time. It was also annoying to be asked "how was your weekend?" by people I hadn't told my weekend plans to. Of course, they were just trying to be nice, but still, it was like "Hmm, alright, considering I went to my grandma's funeral, and you?"
But in all, I am glad I went back home for the event, since I didn't want to have to deal with it by myself here, where no one can emotionally relate to the situation. But at the same time, I feel like I "cheated" in a way by going home during my big semester away. It really didn't feel like I'd been gone for very long, and I know once I go back the same thing will happen. But at least then it will be for the end of the semester and I will have camp to look forward to.
I miss you Nana.
